Scrapbook/ They Mean So Much

I am probably one of the sappiest people I know. I spend a lot of time doing things like weepily thanking my friends for being so beautiful and talented. It probably gets old. One of the ways in which this phenom presents itself is saving pictures and looking through them way too often. For no reason, I present a small but important selection:

New Year's Eve, 2003. I had just transferred to Chapel Hill High and spent a few months pretty friendless and lost and miserable. Then I found these folks. They ended up being some of my best friends in life. I love looking at these early New Year's photos; they remind me of feeling, for the first time in my adolescence, truly at home and very happy. The tradition of New Year's together continues, adding each year new closest friends. One of my favorite parts of my life.

UNC, October 2005. I really didn't want to go to UNC. I had a rough time accepting the concept of being there at all. I found, though, the other half of my friend-core in the first year there. Smart, nice North Carolinians who are currently impressing me daily, accomplishing mind-blowing stuff, and traveling widely. I think this is one of the first times I hung out with Jaki, who is now doing crazy stuff in Malaysia on a Fulbright and sending me precious emails and (thank god) stopping in NC for a little while before she moves on to other amazing whatevers.


Cymbeline production photo, July 2006. I got a little lost that summer, had to drop out of summer school, had a crappy housing situation. But Lucius put together an extremely innovative summer of theater for our friend group, and I had two roles I loved playing and still cherish. It was probably the most powerful acting experience I've ever had, and has shaped me as an artist. Lucius continues to make amazing theater all the time.

Fast forward-- October 2009. As I mentioned, UNC unexpectedly gifted me with incredible friends and a really rewarding academic experience which pleasantly peaked my senior year. These girls threw me my favorite ever/ sillest ever birthday. I respect them so much and think they're absolutely hilarious (see? sappy!).

Another serendipitous bout of grace (December 2010). My first 9 months post-graduation were even more confusing than expected, and life felt disappointing after the bliss of senior year. Our family was going through a lot of stressful changes for the first time in many years. I quit my unsatisfying job last winter and, sometime around then, realized that my family (along with my current boyfriend) would comfort and support me when I didn't know the way. I had a unique, quiet, slightly sad but very peaceful Christmas with nearly 2 feet of snow. On Christmas day, my dad and I took a hours-long walk through our neighborhood, silent, in awe. I took a lot of pictures, but I don't think I'd ever forget it anyway.

Voila! Sap-book! Maybe I'll do this again. Even though I seem to always think the best is behind me, it never takes too long for the best thing ever to reveal itself. More peace, more maturity, lifelong friends, feeling at home (you know, little stuff like that).

I move back to Chapel Hill in a few weeks, and am, as per usual, nervous and pessimistic (well, just a little) about this phase of my life--this leap--being as good and valuable as previous phases. Looking over these photos, I see the pattern of great luck--totally undeserved wonder and mountains of love--that seem to crash into me at just the right time.